Number 142- Took away a glee club's chance at winning Nationals
by IlovesMesomeGlee
Summary: A "My Name is Earl" and "Glee crossover. Completely AU. Earl Hickey costs The New Directions to lose Nationals. Now that he has his list and believes in karma he wants to make up for what he done to the glee club. Short story. I don't own either show. Rated T for swearing. Earl Hickey and Randy Hickey with Joy. And New Directions.


**AN: Hi Everybody! :)**

 **I am still on hiatus from fanfiction but I had this idea in my head all day today and I wanted to write it ASAP. I wanted something to make me feel better.**

 **Also I kinda been on a "My Name is Earl" binge watch on Netflix lately. :)**

 **Now on to the story, its completely AU. It doesn't start in any particular season on both shows.**

 **This story will be very short. I am thinking two chapters? We will see? I might make it longer if people dig it enough. :)**

 **Its not beta'd so I tried very hard to fix any mistakes.**

 **Anyway thats all I'll say for now. I hope you like it! :)**

 **Please review. Be kind.**

 **Have a nice day!-ILOVESMESOMEGLEEX3**

 **Number 142-. Took away a glee club's chance at winning Nationals.**

 _ **Chapter 1**_

 **Earl Narrating:** You know that guy you see, when you stop off at the convenience store in that little town on the way to Grandma's house? Sort of shifty looking fella who buys a packet of smokes, a couple-a lotto tickets and a "Tall Boy" at 10 AM in the morning? The kind of guy you wait to come out before you and your family go in? Well... that's me. My name is Earl.

 **Earl:** "You might be wonderin' why I'm in Lima, Ohio standing outside a high school glee club chior room? Why I decided to travel all the way back to Lima for my list. Its a _VERY LONG_ story.

It all started a year ago. You see back then I drank... _A LOT._ And sometimes I would wake up in random places with Randy my brother, not knowing what the hell happened the night before. I did a lot of stupid things but this takes the cake.

One night me and Randy and Joy thought it would be real fun to "travel the world" mind you we were _REALLY_ drunk at the time and broke. And well somehow after a few dozen stolen beers from the liquor store, the next day I woke up in Lima, Ohio passed out with my pants hanging off my ass in a cornfield. Joy was a few feet away from me still asleep and when I woke up Randy was peeing on a scarecrow.

After a few heads shakes and stumblin' around I found a sign next to me that read "Welcome! You are now in Lima Ohio!". So there we were in Lima, we didn't know how we got there but we were there.

It must've been a hell of a night too because not only that we were covered in shaving cream and confetti.

Anyway I am getting off track, turns out we stayed in Ohio for a few weeks without any money. My car decided to not work anymore so we were basically stranded in the cornfields where we lived while we were there. We survived on corn from the fields.

We explored every once in a while and Ohio was fun and all but we wanted to go home. Joy wanted to get back to her kids. So as always, it was up to me to figure out a plan.

We did everything to try to find some quick cash. But we were always coming up short. Turns out Lima is just as broke as we were.

Everyone we robbed or tried to had zero to thier name. Things were not looking too good at that point.

Then one day a few more weeks later "luck" came our way.

"Hey you! Yeah! You!" Stumble Mc. Stumbles!" Some kid in a fancy blue jacket and with a red stripe on it called out to me while I was having a sip of another stolen beer. My seventh one. This kid looked as though he came from money. Hell probably so rich he didn't need to worry a day in his life. He also looked to be a teenager. Tall, young, blue eyes, blonde hair.

I was hanging out at a convienent store with Joy bitching at me like she used to when this kid came by.

"You big dummy! Good for nothing pain in my ass!" I hear Joy scream as she walks away. But I paid her no mind. Randy went after Joy to make sure she was alright.

"Yoo hoo! Bum!"

This kid keeps calling me. At this point I am angry and a _LOT_ drunk so I wasn't really wanting to talk to this kid. But he wouldn't leave me alone so I went toward him just to see what he wanted.

"Hey bum-"

"Iiiiits Eaaarl" I slur my words. I was really wasted at this point.

"Whatever. I don't give a shit what it is. I need a favor. Wanna make some money? You look like you need what the hell is that smell? It smells like beer and dog shit." He smiles nastilly at me. Like he thinks he's better than me. If I wasn't so drunk I would've knocked this punks teeth out. But he was right. I needed money to go home. I would've done anything at this point. Joy needed to be with her kids.

"Go away kid! I don't do sexual favors. Get a girl prositute to do that for ya!" I was stumblin' around loosing my bearings. I was seeing double.

The kid made a grossed out face then quickly it changed into something more mischevious.

"Listen, stumbles or Eaaaarl or whatever. I don't have time for this crap. I need this done as soon as possible. Nationals is coming up and-"

"Nationals?! What the hell is Nationals?! Speak English kid."

"Nationals, you drunk ass is a singing competition. It goes, Invitationals, Sectionals then Nationals. I am in a high school glee club- Correction- _THE BEST HIGH SCHOOL GLEE CLUB_ called "The Warblers" in all of Lima, Ohio. I go to a very expensive private school called "Dalton Academy". My parents have spent more money there then you have probably seen in your whole trailer trash life".

"Keep insulting me kid and I won't be doing anything for you. You approached me remember?" My face growing serious as I talked.

The kid gulped a little but his face remained stoic.

"A singing competition? Like you get on stage and parade in sequins and sing like monkeys?" I start to laugh really loud slapping my knees.

The kid didn't think it was funny. At all. He folded his arms around himself annoyed waiting for me to finish laughing.

"Are you done now? This is serious! It may seem dumb to you but its a very _SERIOUS_ thing. And I need help getting rid of a problem. You wanna help me or not? I am growing _REALLY_ impatient with you!"

I thought it over. And over. And came up with my answer.

"That sounds _REALLY_ interesting and all but my answer is... No. Hell no." I began to stumble away.

"Wait! The kid runs after me.

What kid?! I said no! I don't care how much you pay me. Fix your own damn problems! Leave me alone!"

"Not even for say 5,000?".

 _THAT_ made me stop in my tracks. I've never had that kind of money before in my life and it was _VERY_ tempting. It would be enough to have my car fixed so we can go home and see Joy's kids.

"Earl, what the hell you doing?! Take the money, you BIG dummy!"

"Yeah Earl! Take it so we can go home and buy some _**POP**_ rocks with the money left over and stay up all night telling each other stories, like we used to when we were kids."

I hear Joy and Randy come up from behind me.

I took another swig of my beer and ignoring everything in my head telling me this was wrong, I quickly made my decision.

" What am I saying?! Hell it might be fun! What do you need me to do, kid?" I smile. Joy smacks her gum, grinning. Randy has a goofy grin on his face.

The kid smiles as bright as the sun.

.

"I can't believe this! Who would do such a terrible thing?!" Rachel screeches and nearly faints as she hears the "hissing" noise coming from her now flat tires.

The rest of the glee club looked on in horror. They were in the McKinley High school parking lot. Not only were there car tires were slashed and flat but the bus that was _SUPPPOSED_ to take them to Nationals had been hit too. The glee club couldn't help but think that someone that would take the time to slash the glee clubs tires in broad day light was either stupid or _REALLY_ had it out for the club.

" We can't go to Nationals now! What are we gonna do? Ride the bus? Hell to the no! Mercedes paces back in forth. She looked like she was out for blood. All twelve members were hurt, confused and angry all rolled into one.

"Mercedes, shut up! Quit talking like that. We need to think positive here." Rachel flips her hair while Mercedes fights the urge to flip her the bird.

"You be quiet manhands!" Quinn snaps and goes to grab Rachel but to everyone's surprise Santana Lopez stops Quinn.

"Quinn no! We can torture her later _AFTER_ we win Nationals. Doing it now won't be as fun unless we get a win out of this." Santana smiles and Quinn fixes her hair and sits down on the outside steps to the school.

T-thank you Santana for not torturing me." Rachel stutters out.

"Shut it, shorty. You just _BETTER_ hope we can make it in time _OR ELSE I WILL go ALL_ Lima Heights on that ass." Santana hissses out then winks at Rachel as Rachel gulps in fear.

The rest of the glee clubbers pout, watching thier dreams of FINALLY winning Nationals go down the crapper.

"Rachel's right. We _NEED_ to stick together and not lose our minds. We _WILL_ make it." Finn smiles at his girlfriend.

"Guys, I am so sorry but we won't be able to make it in time. All buses are down and even my car was attacked. We can't make it to Nationals this year. Its _TOO_ late." Mr. Shue gets off his phone and breaks the news to the entire glee club.

 **Earl narrating:** Meanwhile I _NEVER_ got caught for slashing _EVERY_ car tire in that parking lot. As I hid behind a wall I watched the glee club fall apart that day and lose hope. I was 5,000$ richer but I felt bad ever since I did what I did. I gotta make it up to those poor kids. Its the least I can do and all.

 _ **So number 142: Took away a glee club's chance at winning Nationals.**_

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 **AN: THANK YOU ALL FOR READING. Let me know what you think? :) Is it good enough to continue? I'll try to come back and post ASAP. Thank you for reading. Please review. Be kind. Have a nice day!-ILOVESOMEGLEEX3**


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